Things I Learned — I, Me, Mine

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Katy and I are watching Maya become a person right in front of our eyes. Most of the time it is an astonishing, amazing, and breathtaking experience. And sometimes it’s just heartbreaking. The Ego is desperate and obstinate; through him, I can clearly see how attachment leads to suffering. Now, it is inevitable in this culture for the functioning human consciousness to comprehend and verbalize a difference between “me” and “you.” Once this happens, we cling to what we call mine and grasp at the things we want to include in that definition. This clinging and grasping was all I could think about when Maya, for the first times ever, began to say “me me me me me” when trying to get his wants or needs met. 

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Oh my love. 

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My heart goes out to the kid because the “me” needs to be fed but it can never be satiated. Thich Nhat Hanh once said something like “to be somebody, anybody at all, is to suffer.” 

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So I was feeling this way for a good amount of the weekend until I heard Noah Levine say this in a Dharma talk: 

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“you have to have a sense of self in order to dismantle the sense of self. so actually it’s very important for a kid to develop the “I Am” and have boundaries and have a sense of individuation. It is an important part of the process, it is a natural part of the process. But at some point we realize: not completely true.” 

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He goes on to say that the infants and children are in for the same ride that we are on. And when I think about it, it’s not that bad of a ride at all! “I, Me, Mine” comes with a good amount of suffering and sorrow, but it also brings authentic relationships, appreciation, and a singular expression within this vast universe. The ride is made of ups and downs, otherwise it would be rather boring….

So I celebrate Maya’s developing Ego. May it be full of wonder, May it know many things, and May it perfectly execute its duties. 

That’s what I learned this weekend…what about you? 

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K

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