Things I Learned — Father’s Day Weekend

Right on the nose.

Right on the nose.

This week I am breaking down one topic into three lessons. Today we will explore: 

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1. Me vs. Fatherhood

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Reason #2 I will not stop getting better.

Reason #2* I will pursue these dreams until I die, always work to be better than I was the day before, and most importantly live as though Everything Is Beautiful.

 

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A) I have failed at a lot of things in life…like everyone else. One of those things happens to be Fatherhood. I’m not going to dwell on it or get into the details…I have laid out my shortcomings on several occasions in the past. But as I enjoyed the fruit of my loins this weekend, I could not help but think deeply on Life’s Grace: no matter how many times we let ourselves and other’s down, we keep getting these chances to change, to get better, to become better fathers, better friends, better workers, and better people. Life never gives up on us so until my dying day I will tell everyone I know that no matter what they are going through or who they think they are, help is always on the way — if it isn’t present already. 

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We got mind control over Maya: Since he wouldn't look up, we all looked down.

We got mind control over Maya: since he wouldn’t look up, we all looked down.

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B) I picked my daughter up from the airport on Saturday and I did not think I would cry when I saw her but my softness is well documented in these pages. There was a time I would only cry when she was leaving because I did not know if my relationship with her mother would allow me the chance to see her again anytime soon. But Life is good and Grace is sufficient;  the necessary changes have been made in my life to make sure that is not a problem any longer. Praise Shiva. 

So I cried when I saw her, not because I was happy to see her, or because she always grows so much in between visits or because I feel ridiculously old standing next to a fourteen year old child of MINE…no. These are all great reasons to shed tears by the way, but not what happened to me. I cried because I understand it is a blessing to separate from a loved one, even for just a run to the grocery store, and return to safely to their arms. Katy and I have been in the practice of cultivating this awareness in our home for the past several months. Whenever one of us leaves and returns we always remark how it is “crazy in them streets,” and how lucky we are to be with one another again. The truth is, there are a lot of father’s who lost their daughters since last summer. There are a lot of family’s that have been displaced, disjointed, dissected, or maybe they’re just disgusted with one another. But there I was standing next to my daughter who lives in this crazy world of terrorism, bullies, natural disasters, pedophiles and whatever other unimaginable horrors lie in the dark. She was safe and happy and thrilled to be with her father. Hell yeah you better believe I cried. 

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And there it is.

And there it is.

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C) Until this weekend, I had not known the pleasure of receiving a “Happy Father’s Day” phone call. If I had any thug left in my body after Saturday’s cry-fest at the airport, it was surely swept away on Sunday when I heard the sweet angelic voice of my middle child wishing me a Happy Day. Dammit, I’m tearing up just thinking about it. 

Now I feel a certain way about all the years I went without calling my own father and grandfather on Father’s day. What in the world was wrong with me? Again, thank Life for the Grace of self-growth. 

Welp that’s all for now. How was your Father’s Day? Is there anything that happened this weekend that you would like to share? 

 

*reason #1 is I do it for myself, of course. 

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3 comments on “Things I Learned — Father’s Day Weekend

  1. seeingm says:

    The courage of sharing truth is so stunningly beautiful. It is never too late for anything, however, it is just easier to address while there is still breath left to do it here. The greatest gift we ever give is a portion of true ourselves. Your tears are profound gifts of massive strength. Thank you for sharing. Happy Father’s day! x.M

  2. Stepharee says:

    I love this, no excuses just pure realism. My sweet girl not only saluted Daddy, but she also called him her prince. All on her own and without any coaching. The relationship between my children and their father melts my heart because they are so good to each other. There’s nothing there but pure love, just as it should be!
    Happy Father’s Day K!

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