When Katy said I didn’t go deep enough in last week’s Rumi Moment, I knew exactly what she meant. I do not know how to explain this grand longing for being a creative force of love and peace. The words are lost to me. That way of being is like a fuzzy picture of someone else’s life. Interestingly enough, this subject was touched upon during last weekend’s Creating Space Meditation Meetup. We discussed exactly how to manage authentic emotional interactions, and the picture became a little less fuzzy. And then on Sunday’s #soulcall Twitter chat I discovered the ways in which I shut myself off from empathic engagement with others. I realized I use empathy as a tool in which I turn on and off, depending on how the situation suits me. In order to really establish this anchor of peace and love in the world, I need to learn how to be more open and of course more present. All of this means there is a lot of work to be done (also the argument I had with my wife a few minutes ago is also indicative of this work I need to do). There is a part of me that wishes to just keep doing the same old thing, because it’s a good thing and it makes me feel like a good person and it’s easy. But for now, when it comes to changing the world, I’m going to keep crawling…
…hands in front of knees.
The wilderness way Moses took
was pure need and desolation.
Remember how you cried when you were a child?
Joseph’s path to the throne room of Egypt
where he distributed grain to his brothers
led through the pit his brothers left him in.
Don’t look for new ways
to flee across the chessboard.
Listen to hear the checkmate
spoken directly to you.
Mice nibble. That’s what they need
to be doing. What do you need?
How will you impress the one
who gave you life?
If all you can do is crawl,
You have a hundred cynical fantasies
about God. Make them ninety-nine!
If you can’t pray a real prayer, pray
hypocritically, full of doubt
it were real!