Sometimes I picture what it’ll be like after I’m gone.
The streets I drive on today, and all of the roads I’ve traveled in the past, will still be driven by eager travelers. In my mind I watch how the stores I frequent will continue to serve happy customers. I notice that everyone I know who is lucky enough to outlive me is moving on and settling into a world without old KenJos…they are all O.K.
Despite my ego’s attempts to convince me otherwise, a perpetual darkness does not fall upon the land. The sun rises and falls, just as it has for all recorded time. Nothing stops.
They will keep making the television shows I so desperately cling to. Maybe I’ll never know how he met their mother.
**Side Note: I often think about all of the people who were fans of that show that have since died, never knowing how it turns out. I get sad about this.
I visualize these things in my mind — a world without me, that’s pretty much the same as the world with me — and then I have to ask, “so what’s it all for?”
That’s the kind of thought that can get you in trouble.
It’s the thought that will either paralyze you or mobilize you. Sometimes it’ll take turns and do both. But if it paralyzes you then you’re in trouble, because you’ve given up on Becoming. If it mobilizes you then you’re in trouble, because now you’re on the path of Becoming.
The way I see it, my impermanence within an impermanent world that lives on without me is an indication of the uselessness of trying to be somebody. The more I try to make a mark in this world, the less I am focused on experiencing the transcendental (true) reality. No matter how many cars I own, or titles I achieve, or women I bed, I cannot take these accomplishments with me when it’s time to go. All we have, all we are, is the work we put in towards knowing MonkeyDrop. Everything else is stuff…it’s filler…something to keep you occupied in between periods of enlightened growth.
I do not think we can remind each other enough that this experience is limited and our time is soon coming. I am told Buddha once said “The trouble is, you think you have time.” The paradox to this statement is the fact that while we’re living there’s no trouble in thinking you have time..ignorance is a bliss of sorts. Trouble comes from thoughts of impermanence, ideas of living on Purpose, and whimsical musings of Life after Death. This is where the work begins and we are in for a very bumpy ride.