I get excited whenever one of the counseling students asks me a question about “what do I do if ______” because it gives me the opportunity to say aloud the ONE THING I hope they take away from our time together:
No matter the theoretical stance, working environment, or client scenario, I believe the only time a therapist is functioning with full power is when he or she is simply being true to the moment by responding honestly. Whether that honest response takes the form of words, silence, gestures or dancing, Being Yourself creates a special type of aura around an individual that is most often cherished by others.
This powerful way of being is not limited to the brave counselors and therapists of the world; it is a fundamental truth that underlies whatever roles we try on in this brief life of ours. Expressing ourselves fully within our relationships, jobs, and other significant positions creates a self-reinforced loop of accomplishment, satisfaction, and joy. Unfortunately many of us are choosing situations, partners, and employment that constrict our basic desires. This is where we get the idea of being “STUCK” from. No one is ever “stuck” being themselves. How ridiculous would that sound?
“Man I hate my job. I’m always getting to express my talents in challenging, yet meaningful ways.”
“My relationship is going through some hard times right now; I can’t help but feel comfortable enough to just laugh when something’s funny or talk about things that are on my mind with my significant other. It’s getting annoying!”
“It sucks I have to go to church today. I get so happy singing and dancing and praising the god of my heart.”
On the contrary, we are stuck in relationships that may look good on the outside but are not feeding our soul or in alignment to our purpose. We are stuck in jobs that may pay well or provide good benefits but do not allow us to work from inspiration, or feel fulfilled, or doesn’t allow us to wear flip flops on beautiful sunny days! This society has created the assumption that it is necessary to take direction from a myriad of outside sources:
Our parents tell us what they like and who they like to see us with;
The government tells us what is legal and what is not legal to ingest into our bodies;
Everyone on Twitter and Facebook seem to really like this new CD so maybe I will too;
Advertisers have developed a SCIENCE for getting us to want, need and buy;
Religion dictates what is moral and who’s on our side;
Friends will happily give you input into whatever situations you may find yourself.
Receiving outside input is fine and cannot be avoided no matter how hard you try. However take the words of Walt Whitman with you as you go throughout your day: “…examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul…”
If you find yourself in a relationship, or a job, or a church, or an apartment, or a city, or a car, or a pair of shoes, or watching a television show that meets the requirements of your outside influences but is not inspiring YOU then now is the time to begin turning away from it.
Actually, Now is always the time to begin being yourself.
One last word; actually the word I began writing about in the first place:
The Beauty of You
Human beings are just like the cells in their bodies of which they are composed. Biologist Bruce Lipton explains: “Each of the cells in your body can be considered a sentient being in its own right. They all act together as a community, performing an ongoing act of prodigious collaboration.” Each and every cell has a reason for existing and usually carries out its purpose to near perfection. Should a cell fail to perform, the body will just adjust and continue to function, but not as efficiently. Should a group of cells fail to perform, the body becomes sick in some way.
Like our bodies, Creation/The Universe/God/Life, counts on its “cells” to perform their specific task. By being ourselves, we contribute to the synchronicity of the perfection of being involved in the cycle of living. But when we turn our backs on who we are, and live according to some other cell’s doctrine, the world around us gets “sick.” (See: poor performance, depression, angst in relationships, unfortunate accidents, etc.)
This is why YOU are so important and Beautiful. Your specific way of being is necessary in order for this process of Creation to unfold. Some other cell is counting on your laugh, or your reprimand, or your love. Some group of cells needs your specific light in order to function with ease. There are cells being born today and next year and throughout time that will be positively affected by the way you turn into yourself. This is the prodigious collaboration of being human, and of being alive.
I have to remind myself of this truth often. In this very moment I am fighting through thoughts of silencing myself because “this sounds crazy, no one’s going to get what you’re talking about man.” Or “you’re doing a poor job of explaining what you mean.” Or “what will people think of you.”
But this is me. And I am Beautiful.
“There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. If you block it, it will never exist through any other medium. It will be lost. The world will not have it.
It is not your business to determine how good it is, nor how valuable it is, nor how it compares with other expressions. it is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.”