What if everything we do has one of two origins?
Love or Fear
What would that mean? How would that affect the world we are creating around ourselves? Did you go to work today because you love the job or are afraid of not having one? Are you dating because you’re looking for love or afraid of not having a companion? What is motivating you? LOVE transcends everything and is infinite in scope and reach. While fear is limited, it can only take us so far in our relationships, in our jobs, and in our lives.
I attempted to figure out how I’m showing up in the world and whether I’m creating Love or Fear by defining my motivations for everything I did throughout the day. In one corner is LOVE: acting from a desire to be connected, promoting inspiration, caring. And in the other corner is FEAR: acting from anxiety, worry, panic, and resentment.
Ring the Bell!
First thing this morning Katy and I had a discussion. I remember wanting to love her in that moment but to be honest, I was speaking from a place of fear. Afraid that I’d have to keep having that conversation over and over again. And if you know me, you know how much I detest redundant conversations. So although I felt love, my words came from a place of fear.
Fear 1 – Love 0
I got out of bed shortly after that and pretty much went straight to the pillow for meditation. Love or fear? I’m thinking this is definitely Love. I’m on a mission, or a path, whatever…I need to meditate, it is the most important thing I do with my day. There is an underlying fear that if I don’t meditate, I will not live my purpose and therefore be a failure (all made up in my head of course, like most fears are), but that’s not why I sit. I love Life and meditation brings me closer to the Truth of what Is.
Fear 1 – Love 1
I left for the gym after that and I know exactly what this is: FEAR. Fear of being morbidly obese, getting diabetes, high blood pressure, and dying due to a chronic lack of attention to my physical body. My relationship to this body has definitely been a hindrance to my process. But I’m working on it though, from the inside and out.
Fear 2 – Love 1
Got my daily coffee at the 7-11 and came home to write. Hmmm. Now this is a tough one. Off the top of my head, I don’t think I write out of Love or Fear. The things I’m working on are just parts of me that need an outlet. I write with no real expectation of anyone reading it (well look at that, a negative thought of lack that I need to work on) but because it’s just stuff I feel need to be said. So is that love? It’s certainly not fear. Does anyone LOVE writing? I mean, even people who call themselves “writers” complain about the tediousness of the process, the soul-wrenching, the constant struggle.
Well, I just Googled “I LOVE WRITING” and apparently many people do. To be fair, I Googled “I FEAR WRITING” and “I Write Out of Fear,” and all I got was people who don’t write because they’re afraid to do so.
Ok now I’ve read some of the “I Love Writing” articles and I must conclude: I Write out of Love. It is cathartic, it clarifies myself to mySelf, and it is one of the best ways I know to talk to Life in a concrete manner. Yes, this is Love.
Fear 2 – Love 2
Rounds 5 – 7
Well, that’s all I’ve done so far today. Except for listen to a comedy album while I write. That was out of Love, because I love to laugh.
I ate a couple of apples and some string cheese. Although it is an act of love to take care of my body by eating appropriately, it’s still sourced in Fear because again, I don’t want to be morbidly obese.
Dropped off some Netflix movies to the post office. This is love because everyone knows how I feel about movies.
Ring The Bell! Match is over!
The scorecards reveal a unanimous but close decision: Fear won 3 rounds and Love won 4. LOVE barely eeked that one out!
This is an interesting outcome considering I’m someone who focuses on love, professes love, and is striving to embody immortal and divine love. Yet, I’m hardly outdistancing fear on a GOOD DAY in my life. This exercise has been helpful for me because now I can begin to become present enough to change how I’m showing up. I can learn to work out from a place of loving my body instead of being afraid of what would happen if I didn’t. I bet my results would improve dramatically. I can be present in conversations with friends, loved ones and strangers, sending love and responding from a place of acceptance. I bet this will improve my relationships over time.
So what about you, what are you loving? What are you doing that is motivated out of fear? Can you transmute that motivation and LOVE some more?
Sure you can. There’s more than enough love to go around.