The Return of Male Privilege

Remember that Chris Rock stand up bit about how his dad would always get the “big piece of chicken,” no matter what was going on in the home? I remember dreaming about one day being the man of the house and commanding the respect worthy of the big piece of chicken. But the Gender Equality movement coupled with one failed marriage and a lifetime of silly relationships has led me to think I’d be lucky to get the drummette portion of a wing.

Until now.

Apparently Male Privilege still exists in America. Perth Amboy, NJ to be exact. For the better part of the past decade I’ve been getting schooled on the numerous differences between African-American and Dominican-American culture, thanks to my close and personal relationship with @katybatista. But lately she’s been giving me the crash course version and let me tell you, it’s remarkable what these guys are getting away with!

I was raised by a single mother, like many black men in our society. This resulted in my having to learn how to take care of myself and a number of household chores from a very early age. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, all of that stuff is second nature to me now that I’m 34 years old. But apparently it’s FROWNED UPON in Dominican culture.

For example, while I sat about on the couch this morning watching Phinneas and Ferb or what not, breakfast was prepared for me without my knowledge. I was served and left to enjoy my meal in solitude and peace. Now, it’s second nature for me to clean up the kitchen and dishes following the meal. Oh what a mistake this was! I was verbally berated in private and, get this, when I returned to the kitchen all of the dishes I cleaned were placed back into the sink by the other woman in the house. She was either thinking “there’s no way these dishes are clean, despite how they look, because men don’t ever do dishes,” or “there’s no way these dishes are clean because a man did them!”

I don’t know if I should be insulted or impressed by the level of commitment to male privilege. (You already know I’m just gonna be impressed). Anyway, I think I’m going to sit back and observe how this works some more and report back. I’m here for a week so I should get plenty of opportunity to test out my theories.

Now where is that vacuum.

K

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One comment on “The Return of Male Privilege

  1. Katy says:

    🙂 hope you enjoyed your time~ and had your fun ‘experimenting’. It’s too much to try and go into male privilege in the Spanish community. I’ve seen it so many times be the cause of creation and then destruction of a man. Like everything, if left unbalanced it becomes a huge liability~ but that isn’t what your blog is about. We’re talking about You. Your growth. Your Struggle. Your Evolution. Your Love. How you are loving You. With respect to all that how do you feel you did?

    It isn’t about what everyone else is doing that speaks volumes of your life but how you are reacting. So yes, in the Spanish culture it is often okay (not always of coarse) for a man to demand from his wife, “Make sure I have a glass of water by my bedside each morning~!” and she will comply without giving it a second thought or asking him to get it himself… that’s conditioning… but what does it say of the man who is unkind and ungrateful when he asks? Were you entitled, complacent and ungrateful? Perhaps you stayed in spirit, even while accommodating to someone else’s way of doing things. You remained loving, kind and profusely grateful, not taking any of it for granted.

    pretty sure you did the latter~ pero que se yo 😉

    Diosa Dominicana

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